Maybe

Maybe I am an angry person. It pisses me off when I am getting an A in my English class, yet in Zoology I am getting a B because the teacher is nitpicking my papers. He says he is just grading it as an english professor. No, because english professors are more open to writing style. He gave me 19 out of 25 because he didn't like my word choice! I had my english professor look at it and she said it looked great!
I love the subject of Zoology, but I imagine a fork sticking out of my teachers eye every time I see him!

Angry

"Do you ever get tired of being an angry person?"

That was the question I was asked the other day!

I promise you that I am not angry. I am simply frustrated and worn out.

I am just done with life and the people I deal with in it on a daily basis. I feel a little used for others' gain.

I'm sorry if that is to honest, but that is the truth. I feel very overwhelmed at times because I just can't be everything for everyone. 

For example: I helped a women's daughter sign up for the community college here in town. After I had helped her do the online paperwork and taken her down to the college for a quick tour of the campus, I took her home. At her house the women asked if I was voting this year. I told her that I was not able to because I wasn't registered for this state and that I hadn't figured out how to get the AZ paper ballot. I was then chewed out for a good five minutes! I'm sorry that I didn't have the extra hundred dollars to switch to my driver's license to Maryland. I am also sorry that you are dumb and too lazy to help your own daughter sign up to go to college. May I also add that this women asked me to come over in the past and help with signing up her daughter, and I put aside time to do so and last minute she told me not to come over because she (the women not the daughter) had too much to do. 

Yes, I am sorry that I am an angry person. I am also sorry that I don't have more to give. it is just what it is I guess.
P.S.
On top of chewing me out for that, when I said that I was going to grab lunch with a friend, she said that if I "set my priorities straight" I would have the money to have my license switched over.

No. I'm not angry at all. I'm just done.

I Love it When...

People say stupido things like, 

"I know how you feel"

"I understand what you are going through"

Or even better yet,

"I completely understand because..." and then they go to their story.

I know that in life that others understand what is going on, but they in no way understand how the other is feeling. It isn't possible. It is simply a figure of speech. 

People often say that artists are tortured individuals. In complete honesty, we are simply the only ones who are willing to express the feelings inside in a way that is visible to others. Without a way to express ourselves we would be tortured.

 I wish I was better at expressing myself with words. I wish that with all my heart. I can't do that without hurting others I feel though. Whenever I open up I feel I hurt those that are closest to me. I used to carry notebook after notebook around with me. Now, I have tools of the artist's trade. I create plans and pieces. I try to create art. There is no true definition of what art is. The artist is only limited to the imagination.

I hate election years because that is all I hear about! I don't care anymore. I really, honestly don't care about who gets elected because they are both corrupt politicians. Did anyone else know that there was a 6.4 earthquake in Japan Oct 1st? I didn't because I didn't hear it on the news because they are only reporting propaganda for the election. I also didn't hear anything on Yahoo! or Google about the 7.7 earthquake in Canada other then the report I looked up on CNN.
I don't want to hear more lies about what the next President will supposedly do for the country. That is the fact of the matter.

the way I eat candy

According to my friend Paige, I eat my 3 Musketeers candy bar inappropriately. 

"you are not supposed to strip your candy bar!"

She also claimed that I was eating "Nude-get"

Hahaha. Thanks Paige!

my art

 I may be demented, but I love what I do.

Stay tuned for the next part of the series.

Dear Cold...

I hate you. I hate that my ears freeze when I run in you and that my eye glass frames are frozen by your slightest breath. I don't like my chilly toes (even when I am wearing two layers of socks), or my drippy nose.
I do like the colors that you make the leaves and hot chocolatey mornings. Snuggling on the couch with a blanket while watch old musicals. I even like the way frost looks on the windows.
I beg you: please don't let it snow for at least another month. I might not do well if you bring that dreaded, fluffy stuff.
Sincerely,
the girl that is shivering in the library.