What would have happened if I hadn't had surgery? what would have happened if I had left for school, like most all the other kids in my town, who graduated my year? Or what about this one!... what would have happened if I had stayed friends with those that I don't speak to anymore?
These are the questions that I have cross my mind when I am in (what I like to call) a Dark Green mood. I call it that because it comes from a very funny children's book that I love. The Quigleys. It makes me laugh when I think of it as so.
What if though?
Well for one, I know that I wouldn't be happy right now. I have found the ONE I love. I have the best kind of friends for what feels like the first time in my life: Good ones! I am not lying to myself about what I truly feel anymore. I won't lie, it was a really hard year last year. It's just hitting me now that it was only a year ago that all outter darkness was on me. It only took one week to change what I thought was for really and what I thought was my life. I will not pretend to know what Job went through...but I can imagine how he felt.
My life is for really. I am starting to feel lightness in my life again. It feels good. It has been a long time.
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