The little things

It is always the little things in life that make you laugh your guts out. A great example of this is the story that my mom told me this morning of the evening's misunderstanding.
My Nana and her best friend Rose were here visiting for a few days. Sadly, they left this morning. Last night however my mom was showing them my...cough, cough.. I mean her favorite toy she was given last Christmas. Being the excitement of the toy ( a silhouette cameo) and it being their last night with us they were up quite late. I was not as big on the idea of staying up all hours because I had a long day at school and was looking forward to a soft, sad bed that was in need of some comforting and quality time. I had a lot to carry upstairs from my car and thought I had been successful in not dropping anything on the way. This morning I was informed otherwise.
I always carry a few hand sanitizing wipes with me everywhere I go. I am unfortunately running out of the nice ones I purchased in AZ the last time I visited. They are Giovanni towelettes that smell of lavender. Just looking at them and not knowing that they are hand wipes anyone would think that they are ...cough, cough... not hand wipes. So when dear, sweet Rose picked it up and gave it to my mother with a look I can only imagine to be a combination of humor and horror; my mom was ecstatic that I had dropped it and was now claiming it for her own!  Can you not imagine her jumping up and down saying, "It's one of the good one! I'm so not going to give this back to her!"
She didn't actually tell Rose or Nana that it wasn't a condom so I have no idea what they would have thought at the excitement of my mother's "it's mine, I'm not giving it back" dance.
I love our family!

Again?...

If I don't start expressing myself again then I will not survive this next few months. I was told by a friend and relative that they missed my blog. Here you are! I will try again for me and for you. I will be completely honest though and that is my only disclaimer. If this is for me then it will really be for me. Not for the reader. I love to write, but often don't let myself do so because of the labels I put on it: I don't want others to be because it is not good enough, or I don't have to time right now because... You get the picture. 

I write because it makes me feel whole. When I was a lot younger I used to carry notebook after notebook with me so that I could have that release. I stopped that because of the labels I started to put on my life. I still need that release, but have turned to other things such as Dr. pepper and over loading myself with so much to do that I can't breathe let alone take care of myself. Even now as I am typing this I feel the pressing need to cry because for the first time in a long time I feel like I am being honest with myself.

So, here I am. Being honest!

Offended?

This morning I was Visiting with some of the ladies in my church. About half way through the three of us talking the lady to my left turns to me and says," you so remind me of Bella from Twilight! the Beautiful dark hair, fair skin, and that you just moved here from Arizona." I know that I might get shot for this, but I don't like Twilight and never will. I have read part of it once. don't get me wrong she is a good Author(some would say), but I am not into the vampires and I don't like the way that she writes. I am also LDS like the author and do not agreed with some of the things that are in her writing. I know that every other little Mormon girl has read the books, but I am not most Mormon girls! I like to read stuff that has more substance to it than just a fling read. Thanks for the compliment of a character that i know that you like! :)

Kathryn Schulz: On being wrong | Video on TED.com

Kathryn Schulz: On being wrong | Video on TED.com


I Have had a lot of theories, philosophies and beliefs. But sometimes, sometimes they just didn't end up the way I hoped, and I am left standing thinking,' I was just ignorant or to proud?'. Sometimes we just have to say 'I don't know' and admit we are wrong.

Mine once again!

I wrote this on the plane ride back to Maryland. I was tired and grumpy. I didn't really want to leave the heat or my friends/family. But here I am, still wanting to know what I am doing here.

Mine once again

From the smell of the dust in the air to the way the ground is so dry, I have missed everything about you.
Your bright, hot, unforgiving sun I have craved for you long from the hell I know dwell in.
I see my solo friends with their arms in the air, almost as though they are greeting me.
'Salutations, Sir. Saguaro!' though unmoving his arms, and his dangerous lips do not open, he says more than the coyotes at night.
'Your home! Now please stay." His plea is not the only one. The rocks, the lizards, and even the few plants appear from no where to give me this same plea.
Wet magic slips from my eyes as I turn away. 'Please, do not ask me today.' as a gentle breeze pulls dust past my face I wish I could give them a different answer.
But for now the West is mine! so I raise my head to its sun, and let him sizzle my tears away. For today this is mine, my Arizona once again.

In this new land I live in, there is no such thing as happy smiles. No matter where you go you will find a sad expression and a growl. Why is this?! I think that only at church have I seen a smile and a welcoming expression. Even then, there is some forlornness in their eyes. Sometimes I feel like I am being sucked into the towns depression. Being someone that has lived in the same state for almost of my whole life, this is still new to me.
Yesterday I had a very funny thought. What if someone from here moved to my little home town? They would think we were all on drugs! No seriously, they would think that they had moved to a town that had lost their marbles some where along the way. There are always smiles and funny things happening. And my town is a small little nothing in the middle of the pretty much no where. But because of that the people who live there know how to entertain themselves.
What could make this place so sad? Any ideas?!
Only three more days...

I'm sorry

I was not aware until a day or so ago that my posts were being put up on Facebook! I think I changed stuff around so that won't happen anymore. I don't mind people reading my post, but I don't want it posted all over a public page that is viewed by a lot of people.

With that said! I feel the need to say sorry to anyone I have hurt in anyway, shape, or form. I just became aware of a friend that felt I had been doing things on purpose to hurt others. That is not the case, but now there is nothing I can do but hope that this individual and others will remember what kind of person I am, and that that will stand to rectify the misunderstandings.

There are things I don't understand about girls. Though I am one, I also didn't go to high school. I also only have ever had one or two friends in the past that were girls. No I am not kidding. The only way I knew about the high school drama was through other people. Eventually I was involved in a little myself, which made all the more aware of my gratitude to my Mum for not public schooling me. I know that there are advantages and losses to ever form of schooling, and I know that Home Schooling was the best choice for me.
There is little more I can say on the matters above but hope that they are taken the right way.